Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Not Gonna Lie...

I am so discouraged lately by my injury. It has been 2 1/2 weeks since I busted up my Achilles and I am still limping bad and am still limited. It was gradually feeling better, then Sunday I was wrangling all of my kids at this family fun center Boomers and I tripped a little in the parking lot, unintentionally landing on my hurt foot. I reinjured it :(

So here I am today, feeling fat, tired, a little depressed and anxious. I am anxious because I am physically incapable of doing at least 75% of what I usually can do. Most of these things include normal daily maintenance and parenting. Thankfully my dear husband is home all week for the Thanksgiving holiday because so are my 3 busy boys.

I don't do well with slowing down. I don't do well with letting others help. And I don't do well with being the weak one of the litter. We've been furniture shopping and yesterday we had to go to Ikea. My husband wheeled me around in a wheelchair which was a humbling experience to say the least. The same day I can say that I did finally see a doctor again and a referral for an MRI is in the works, as well as to see an orthopedist and physical therapy.

Last night I took my oldest son to see Catching Fire, just him and I. It was a great movie! Part way through I was regretting not running more while I was healthy and feeling so jealous of Katniss running through those trees (we'll disregard for the sake of my post that she was running for her life...). I was wishing I could miraculously receive a silver parachute with a glorious canister attached that would contain some kind of cream or wrap that would cure my ailment.

Then today we took the boys to Balboa Park where they have Free Residents' Tuesdays which allows locals and military to get in free to select museums. Again, I was wheeled through the museum, and when I was not in a wheelchair I was using my crutches(which HURT!). I love going places, especially new places. But about halfway through our visit I realized I wasn't even enjoying much and I just wanted to go home, close all of the curtains and escape until I can walk normally again.

I guess I simply needed to write this post to express my frustration and sadness at finding myself so not me lately. Being hurt has worn me down.

In one month we will walk through the gates of one of my favorite places: Disneyland. We are taking the kids there for Christmas. I really don't want my husband to have to wheel me everywhere. I really don't want to rent a motorized cart. For 2014 I have set the goal of running 12 half marathons- one for every month. That feels extremely out of reach at this point. I will just be glad to walk again.

So that's where I am people! I will come around and have good days too. But if you read this will you do me a favor and say a prayer for me? Thanks :)

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