Be anxious for nothing...

I feel like lately I have been placing my name into so many hats just waiting and hoping it gets chosen at some point. There are so many factors I cannot control!

I am applying for jobs which is nerve-wrecking to say the least. I have applied for so many jobs I have all of my contacts and addresses, license numbers, etc memorized. I have literally lost count of how many I have applied for! It has to be at least 20-25 so far. I know people have to apply for many more than that before the magic one falls into their lap, so I'm not going to give up yet!

Then I found myself at various events and clicking on links online, signing up for drawings or sweepstakes, putting my name in the running again...why not right? You never know. There I was again, throwing my name out into the unknown.

All of this had me thinking...all of these things I put myself out there for I can't control if I am chosen or not. I put my best face forward, market myself as best as I possibly can and if I'm their gal they will pick me but if I'm not, that's life sometimes. I can't take it personal. All I can do is shake it off, move on and keep trying.

On the other hand my health and fitness I have a lot of control over! Certain situations will happen no matter what you do (freak illness, genetic issues, tragic accidents) but overall you can make a huge impact on whether you reach your dreams or not by your day-to-day choices. I love this. When I feel frustrated about the things I can't control (will I ever get a job?), I can easily switch my focus onto things I can control and take myself out for a run, sit down and make a healthy meal plan, do some yoga and stretching or just go play with my kids. It always brings me back to a place of peace where I refuse to worry about what I cannot control and focus on the things that I can.

How often do we expend energy via anxiety into things we cannot control? What a waste of time, right?!? So stop it! Do your best, work hard, pray hard, then let go and let God do the rest. He has good things for you, just trust Him! When disappointments arise, my rule is that I let myself be bummed and emotional about it for about 15 minutes then after that it is officially in the past and I move on. There's no need to spend much more time being upset about it when you really can't change it!

Proverbs 3:5-6
Matthew 6:24-34
v. 27 And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?

It Must Be Summer...

...because it's after 10:00 pm and I'm blogging! This wouldn't be a terribly weird thing if my laptop keyboard actually worked, but it doesn't so I am sitting at our PC instead. I guess I think best at night, right before bed. And for once I wanted to write it down!

We've had some great days. Great happenings in our family, great weather, great moments turned into memories. I'm glad and thankful that life is simply-good.

My last run was 2 days ago, at 3.23 miles. I accomplished a 10:50 pace-yeah! I was pretty sore the next day though, focused on my lower leg (surprise, surprise!). The reason was because I ran more than I walked this day which in and of itself is awesome! However, the soreness is always a good sign that perhaps a teeny step back might be helpful. So I am going to stick with the same distance a bit, but maybe not push it with jogging quite so much. I am using my foam roller and Stick lots too.

I'm torn between whether I'm ready to do more and just scared, or lazy and making an excuse. Either way, safe is better than sorry even though I am 5 months post-op. The key is to listen to my body :)

I am beginning this half marathon training plan for beginners. However much I walk I don't care. I will start with 5Ks for a bit, some yoga and stretching and some plyometrics to gain strength. Biking will be a great cross-training exercise as well as swimming laps when I can. I think it is a really great plan and I needed a plan. So here goes!

Getting Out There

I am happy to say I am starting to feel like a runner again...a little bit at a time. I am jogging and walking now, I have some runs on my race calendar that I feel like I could reasonably do, and I started a new Facebook page just for local runners that I have a lot in common with. The weather here has been perfect for running and there is no shortage of running routes. I just need to get a bit more consistent! My schedule has been weird and when running becomes less of a routine thing, you don't miss it as much if that makes sense, which creates a lack of urgency in doing it. So I am working on a goal half marathon and I am going to start a training plan at rock bottom as if I never ran before. Training plans work really well for me and give me an organized plan for what to do when. So I'm off to find the right app! It seems that a lot have changed and most charge you so I want to find the right one before I commit (even though $5 isn't a lot-LOL)

Physical Therapy Update

The other day I was thinking about my first day of physical therapy. I recall the frustration I felt inside and the tears I shed on the way home. And...I was thinking it might be good to post a bit of an update. So what does a therapy session look like for me these days?

Well I start with a good 15 minutes on the recumbent bike. It gets a good sweat going and gets the blood flowing.  Then my therapist uses an ultrasound machine on my scar as well as massages it. It's looking pretty good, but there are a few spots that still have thicker adhesionsd, basically right at the bottom near my ankle. You can even see it is raised in the picture.

The scar is definitely straighter and flatter. It is lightening slowly.

Next we usually do some balance work on this machine. I don't know what it is called but it is tough! It works more on intricate muscles and proprioceptive nerve function.

After this we do a variety of plyometric exercises. Some include lunges with resistance bands, calf raises, box jumps, ladder (on the ground) drills, side-to-side jumps, and today I did some intense balance work. I also do some resistance lunge jumps and calf raises on the Reformer. Then I do some deep stretching and by then I'm usually pretty beat! I am definitely not in fast-twitch/plyometric shape! I get winded easily with those exercises.

I am not registered for any other races but I have one in mind in July. The great news is that I have found some running friends! I "bumped into" some gals on Facebook that are in the military family like we are. We are talking about running the Neon 5K night race here in San Diego. It looks like fun!

Have You Complimented Anyone Lately?

Lately I have had a few nice people pay me a couple of nice compliments and it got me thinking...how often do I compliment others? It can really make your day!

Yesterday I was in line at Starbucks and these two cute young ladies told me they really liked my "purse". They were referring to what I carry these days as my "purse"...my brown saddle camera bag. I was surprised that they said that!

The same day I was on a field trip with Samuel's class and one of his friends asked me, "So how old are you Mrs. Berman? 29?" Now I don't know if he was just being cheeky but I thought it was sweet anyhow.

Then today was the best one. I haven't let myself go or anything but without running, I am not in as great of shape. The cellulite on my legs is easier to see, my tummy is a bit softer and it seems you can see the extra skin left by 3 pregnancies and my arms are a bit flabbier. I'm feeling alright overall...I mean a softer me isn't necessarily an uglier me. And I've got a good tan going on! But either way, I have been more self-conscious about my body to be honest. Well a woman at physical therapy complimented my legs today. "Man, I wish I had those legs! Dang they are tone!" It really made me feel like a million bucks because they aren't as toned as I would like.

So there ya have it! If you haven't complimented someone wholeheartedly lately, do it! It will make their day, I promise :)

Keep On Keepin' On

My husband and I sat and watched Joe Dirt this afternoon so his saying is stuck in my head I guess. I haven't been logging a ton but I have been keeping active each day either walking or bicycling. My goal is to keep moving, keep working. Physical therapy is getting tougher with box jumps and such along with the strength moves. My PT says my calf is looking good.

I have really missed running the longer distances this year, and I don't plan on it any time soon. My 10K was really cool but I just don't want to overdo it. Maybe a couple more 5Ks or 10Ks but a half marathon before the year is over is a great big question mark. I know I could get to where I could finish for sure, but I'm sure my left leg would be rocked. That being said, I know by next year I will be back to running, I just know it!

My goal is to run the Triple Crown challenge here. It entails running the Carlsbad Half Marathon January 18, the La Jolla Half Marathon April 26, then America's Finest City Half Marathon (what will probably be) August 16th. I am really looking forward to some races in 2015! In the meantime its time to check out some more shorter ones for this year...

Bicycling

It has been another week since I have posted. Life has been crazy busy and with kids getting out of school soon, it's bound to only get busier! That being said, I've been going on walks, trying to eat right and do my physical therapy. I did not make it to my session Friday due to the fires here with evacuations and school closing and such. We did a lot of sitting around on our butts inside since it was a thousand degrees outside and we wanted to be ready in case anything caused us to evacuate. We came through!

Thankfully temperatures have dropped which brings such respite from the heat. I had better get ready though, it gets hot here in the summer. My husband built an above ground swimming pool that I'm sure will prove very popular as it gets super hot. The kids are already loving it. I wish we could put in an in-ground swimming pool but we're just renters! Anyway for now, the weather could not be more perfect.

So today I hopped on my bike to run errands and such. I biked with the kids to school and I will go pick them up in a few minutes. Then I biked to run errands and I had to have put quite a few miles on my bike today. It felt great! I am going to be doing more biking since it doesn't hurt my left ankle/achilles. Walking is really good but jogging is still pretty rough on my leg. I just don't want to overdo it. For now I am just glad my options for exercise are increasing!